It’s Dave’s World
What world do you live in? I have a colleague who I respect much and continues to impress me with his wit. Early on he made the comment, “it is Dave’s world and everyone else lives in it.” A bold and brash statement, but the more I reflect the more I realize how true that comment is to each of us.
My daughter has struggled with some issues during her first semester at college. It is hard, an 18 year old turned loose on the world with all of the authority and responsibilities of an adult, but yet still a child on some levels. We have expectations for our kids when they leave the nest: did we prepare them to care for themselves, will they make good decisions, what if something happens, will they my child focus on school? Each of us matured by passing through tests of right versus wrong and facing “struggles” that life may bring. Our struggles tend to pale in comparison to the true struggles of many: poverty, disease, famine, and war. Our middle class struggles are more akin to a broken phone, a bad grade or possibly a car accident. However, no matter how trivial one man’s struggle is it can be traumatic for another.
So, back to Dave. I recently gave my daughter some advice, advice worthy of all of us considering no matter where we are in life.
First, each of us is the creator of our own world. No one else can be blamed for what happens in our world. We choose our friends, consciously make decisions regarding situations. We choose how hard to apply ourselves. Rules are either followed or disregarded, but through conscious choice. Our diet, fitness, spirituality, relationships and success are all part of our world and determined through our decisions. An 18 year old graduating from high school and foregoing using talents may come to regret the decision a decade later when struggling economically, but he made a conscious choice. I do not subscribe to the theory of “they” – “they made me do it,” “they did this.” You get the idea, there is no “they” in my life.
Second, and more importantly, knowing we are the creators of our own world means we can mold our world to be what we want it to be. For example, I have a friend who has had relationship struggles. There is much drama, much indecision, and a series of repeated challenges. As an outsider it is easy to armchair quarterback his life and give him direction. But, I cannot mold his world, only he can. As the center of his universe he is the common theme to his problems and the only one that can make changes. Similarly, alcoholics know this well and understand a few key methods to success: admit the problem, make amends with those we hurt, and do not drink. In other words, don’t do the things that cause trouble in your life. Thus, is an alcoholic best served by friends that party, drink, and drag him to bars? No, the obvious answer is to avoid those friends and situations. He can mold his world to avoid alcoholism.
My buddy Dave is a wise man. For Dave, it is his world and we all live in it. We each can learn from this wisdom and can mold our world.
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